Digital Alterity

With all the attention that passages from the Biblical book of Leviticus have been getting lately, it seems apropos to give all the passages their own respective moment in the sun. Why should the abomination of men laying with other men get all the press? This article is the first in the new Practical Misanthrope series here at Bactroid.net. Think of it as lesson plans for anti-social adult in all of us.

Preparation

Read Leviticus 19:19…

Keep my decrees.
Do not mate different kinds of animals.
Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed.
Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.

Execution

Organize a street corner protest. As we head into autumn, how many people are wearing cotton/wool blends without knowing that it is an abomination unto the Lord? Good God-fearing rural Christians might even be unknowingly planting corn and tomatoes in the same field. Get active and spread the word through signs with trite slogans! Make sure you cite your source.

Lobby your political leaders for a constitutional amendment banning cotton/polyester-blend dress shirts. Ensure that activist judges won’t redefine fashion wear according to liberal principles that defy God’s Word. Resist the notion that while such blends might not be acceptable for dress, they might be acceptable as business casual. This is nothing more than a re-branding of the issue and a back-handed attempt to justify fiber abominations. When centuries-old Jewish law prohibits something, you can bet that it has an applicable meaning today!

Create pamphlets to give to all your friends that you suspect might be in favor of blended fibers and/or mules. A little bit of imagination, rudimentary Microsoft Word or Adobe InDesign skills, and a moral conviction are all that are required. Little pamphlets that inform your friends that such deviant lifestyles aren’t tolerated by a just and loving God will go long way toward bringing them to repentance and/or galvanization toward supporting your worthy crusade.

Questions for Discussion

Which is a bigger abomination unto the Lord: mules, home herb gardens, or wool/acrylic yarn?

Why does the secular media continue to present wool/polyester blends as perfectly acceptable? Is there a possible liberal bias in the media?

Is it moral to eat food that you know were grown in fields containing two or more types of seed? How does God feel about salsa?

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 11th, 2004 at 21:51:00 and is filed under Religion, Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.