Digital Alterity

Just because you’re vegan doesn’t mean that you don’t like creamy frozen desserts. Yeah, there are dozens of excellent vegan ice cream recipes on the Web, and, sure, you could just go buy a tub of Tofutti or Soy Delicious. But what if you’re too lazy to make your own and you just don’t feel like going out to face the world?

Prepare to meet your new best friend.

Ingredients

• Two ripe bananas (Make sure that they’re turning a little brown. You want these babies sweet.)
• Two Chocolate Newman-Os (or Oreos, if they’re vegan in your state)

Procedure

1. Peel, slice, and freeze the bananas. Let them freeze overnight. Obviously you should always have this step done well in advance. Just keep two frozen bananas in your freezer, ‘kay?
2. Put the frozen bananas and cookies into your food processor.
3. Turn the food processor on. Scrape down the sides when it crawls up the side of the bowl.
4. Remove when the mixture begins acting like ice cream. One second it will be crumbly, and then you’ll suddenly have ice cream. It’s rather freaky.

Technorati Tags: Vegetarian, Vegan, Recipe, Ice Cream

On my recent trip to the doctor, I ended up getting a full physical, and the doctor wanted me to get a lipoprotein profile so that we have a baseline reading. At the time of my blood work, I had been a vegan for roughly nine months, had been running for 10 weeks, and was losing weight at a rate of roughly 0.7 kg/week—though, with a body-mass index (BMI) of around 37.5, I was still in the “very obese” category. Nonetheless, I wasn’t too concerned about the results.

I just got my results back on Thursday evening in the mail, and I found out that these results:

• Total Cholesterol: 142 mg/dL
• LDL (Bad) Cholesterol: 94 mg/dL
• HDL (Good) Cholesterol: 33 mg/dL
• Triglycerides: 88 mg/dL

Other than the HDL number being a bit low, these numbers are extraordinary. As I progress toward a healthy BMI and increase my aerobic fitness through running, that HDL number will naturally go up to an equally awesome level.

Now, I have no baseline readings prior to going vegan, so these numbers are essentially meaningless without a comparison. But I’m willing to bet they were much higher a year or two ago. Statistically speaking, that’s just pretty darn likely.

Technorati Tags: Health, Vegan, Cholesterol

Think that black beans and rice have to be a complicated dish involving either a prepackaged mixture out of a box or hours spent preparing dry beans? You can prepare a healthy homemade bowl of this hearty food in less than thirty minutes, and it will taste better than anything you’ve ever eaten out of a box.

Ingredients

• 1 can of vegetarian black beans (425 g)
• 1 cup/180 g of long grain rice
• 250 ml of salsa
• Two springs off of an oregano plant (or about a teaspoon of dried oregano)
• 1 clove of garlic

Procedure

1. Put salsa, oregano, garlic, and two healthy spoonfuls of black beans into food processor. Beat the hell out of it.
2. Mix puree back into remaining beans simmer slowly for as long as it takes for your rice to be done.
3. Prepare rice according to package directions.
4. Stir black bean mixture into rice until fully incorporated. The flavors will meld much better if you let it sit covered and off of the stove for about 10-15 minutes.

Technorati Tags: Vegetarian, Vegan, Recipe, Rice

I’ve been getting a lot of questions and response out in the real world about mentions here in the ChangeLog that I’m running. In an attempt to fill everyone in, yes, I am running. I’m actually following this Couch-to-5K program, and it’s working beautifully for me. I’m currently in week 7 of the program, so I’m actually to the point where I’m just running without walk breaks interspersed. Because I started the program before I got my GPS Watch, I’m still running by time rather than distance. Once I reach the end of the program, my current intent is to move to work on my speed a bit and switch over to using distance as a measure. Right now, I’m running a bit slower than the program seems to anticipate based on their time estimates for the distances involved. I’m going about 7.5-8.0 km/h (4.5-5.0 MPH), and they seem to expect 9.6 km/h (6 MPH). I’m cutting myself a lot of slack though because I’m running on somewhat hilly terrain at times, and I currently weigh 106-ish kg (about 235 pounds).

Are you training for anything specific?
I didn’t start with the idea of training for any specific race. I got out and started running because I needed a way to incorporate cardiovascular exercise into my long-term health program. I have walked in the past, but the notion of running as a compact, quick exercise that got me back to the computer and my Nintendo DS faster really appealed to me. About a month into the program, one of my running co-worker’s convinced me to sign up a fun run and a 5K in October. While working through The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, I’ve determined that one of my long-term goals is to complete a marathon by the time I’m thirty.

A marathon? Are you nuts?
Yes, of course I’m crazy. I’ve been telling all of you this for years. Nonetheless, I assure you that, based on everything I’ve read, anyone can complete a marathon if they’re willing to put the training time in. Again, the marathon is a long-term goal. That’s where I’m headed, and I’m currently twenty-seven. I don’t even get to beginning training for such an event until I have a year or so of running experience under my belt. That’s my rule.

How are you getting enough protein with your vegan diet?
I eat food with protein in it. Like brown rice and whole grain bread. Like tofu. Like beans. Like nuts. People, chant this with me. Make it your personal mantra. Vegans have no trouble getting enough protein. I track all of my food every day. I get more than enough protein, over 200% of my RDA for iron, over 125% of my RDA for calcium, and so much supplemented and enriched B12 that I don’t even bother to track it anymore.

Why are you running?
I expounded a bit on the issue of why I’m running in this post. The easy answer is that I just am. I rarely know why I get determined to do the things I do, but once I’m determined, I make things happen. The reasons primarily revolve around my health, but there’s also a healthy dose of proving to myself that I can. I’m certainly losing a lot of weight (0.7-ish kg/week) even while eating a very healthy amount of calories (2000-2200 kcal/day).

Technorati Tags: Vegetarian, Vegan, Nutrition, Running

People become vegetarians and vegans for a wide variety of reasons. Some become vegan out of intense moral conviction against killing. Some are vegan to make a political or cultural statement about poverty, racism, feminism, or other societal ills while others are cultural or religious vegetarians. Some become vegan for reasons of health, and still others become vegan to reduce their footprint on the environment. Making matters even more complex, vegan and vegetarians often care about more than one of the following reasons.

As an exploration of where I stand on various lines of vegan concern, I present this list of vegan things that I just simply don’t factor into my decision to be a vegan.

• Mercury levels in fish. While I’m distressed at how we as a people pollute our natural resources with our carelessness, it has nothing to do with why I don’t eat fish.
• Possible salmonella from eggs/chicken/your kitchen counter. This line of reasoning positively reeks of ex post facto justification. You only revel in your reduced risk of this particular food borne illness after you’ve already made the decision to stop eating meat. If your concern was truly avoiding salmonella, you could just as easily work on improving your cleanliness and preparation.
• The amount of fossil fuel it takes to bring me a slab or prime rib. Yes, I know that it takes more energy to produce a calorie of animal protein than it does to produce a corresponding calorie of plant protein. If that’s your prime concern, you could just as easily turn off unnecessary lights, buy locally produced goods, turn down your air conditioner, and buy a more fuel-efficient vehicle.
• How much cheaper it is to eat a vegan diet. I’m an amateur chef and full-time bon vivant. I buy so many frou-frou ingredients that my grocery bill hasn’t dropped one cent.
• World starvation. Starvation is a problem born of distribution and an egocentric attitude. If the United States went completely vegan tomorrow, all of the “bonus” grain that would appear in a few generations would just get hoarded, wasted, and sold at a premium price. Starvation is a byproduct of the game of economic control.
• The presence of feces in meat. When you shake your co-worker’s hand, you’re probably touching a small amount of semen. That fresh fruit from the farmer’s market probably has a bit of insect poop on it. We are exposed to tiny amount of “gross” material every day in nearly every activity we undertake. If you’re willing to eat the carcass of an animal, should you really get upset about trace amounts of waste it may contain?

Technorati Tags: Vegetarian, Vegan

Ever since I heard of and tried seitan, a mass of wheat gluten capable of making extremely convincing vegan alternatives to meat, I have been possessed by an urge to make a shirt that simply reads “Hail Seitan!” This shirt would appeal to so many facets of my personality. My inner hipster would love the wry humor. My inner punk would love freaking people out and possibly making them uncomfortable. My inner geek would love having a shirt that few people can understand. I immediately wrote down the idea and put it on my list of things to do someday and moved on to my next random thought.

A few months later, when I was really starting to dig into the vegan community, I realized that essentially the same shirt had been made by some other witty vegan at Herbivore Clothing. There was even a clever pentagram made out of forks in the design.

I am convinced that this is the universe’s way of reminding me of Goethe’s assertion that “All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times.”

Technorati Tags: Humor, Clothing, Vegetarian, Vegan

Some research using Google has revealed that Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte has ingredients derived from cow milk, so it’s not vegan even when ordered with soy. Time to make my own!

This recipe makes a “grande”, which is about 500 ml (16 US fluid ounces).

1. Heat up about 375 ml (about 1.5 cups) of soy milk with equal parts (ground) cinnamon and nutmeg and just the tiniest amount of ground cloves in the microwave for 2-3 minutes. Take it out when it’s hot but before it starts boiling.
2. Drop in two shots of espresso brewed using your favorite method. (I used my perfectly capable twelve-dollar stovetop moka because I haven’t bought a pressure-driven espresso machine for my tiny kitchen.)
3. Sweeten with 15-20 ml (about a tablespoon) of maple syrup and 12-16 g (about two tablespoons) of sugar. The syrup will darken up the flavor a bit, and the sugar will sweeten the rest of the way.

Possible Pitfalls

• Making the drink too sweet. Try to undersweeten your drink since it’s relatively easy to just add more sugar or syrup later on.
• Being afraid of the cinnamon and nutmeg. These are the flavors that really carry your pumpkin spice latte (and pumpkin pie in general actually). Taste a bit of your soy milk when it comes out of the microwave. If it doesn’t immediately remind you of pumpkin pie, you haven’t pushed the envelope enough.
• Being too generous with the cloves. They are there to fill in the flavor gaps. Don’t make them into an equal flavor partner.
• Becoming addicted to this easy and tasty beverage.

Technorati Tags: Starbucks, Coffee, Vegan, Recipe, Latte

Every great story involves foreshadowing. Something within us really loves the notion of fate and the idea that we’re steadily progressing toward a goal that we may not even see. When I became vegetarian and then vegan within a month or so, many people felt that it all came out of nowhere. Nonetheless, there were definitely signs, and here are a few of my favorites.

• Burying Allyson and Jen’s hamster outside our dorm with a soup ladle shovel.
• My aversion to squashing bugs.
• The time I escorted a very large and very angry huntsman spider out of my kitchen sink using cardboard boxes and oven mitts for protection.
• The time I spent most of the evening socializing with a caged up, hissing, probably rabid cat that had bitten a child at church.
• Sitting with one of my little dwarf hamsters and calmly petting her soft fur as she died.
• Rescuing a mouse in my parent’s house from certain death at the hands of my cat Henry by picking him up by the tail and putting him out in the field behind our house.
• Always making my brother, sister, and wife remove the fish from my hook when forced to go fishing.
• Being staunchly unwilling/unable to spear live bait onto a fishing hook…even to the point of insisting on using white bread as bait when I was a child.
• Unwillingness to be around when fish were being “cleaned”.
• Feeding the ants outside my apartment pieces of whatever I happened to be eating as I headed out to work.
• Disgust at fur clothes.
• Crying when my brother shot birds with his pellet gun.
• Choosing which college to attend primarily based on the amount of squirrels and wildlife on the campus.
• The surge of punk rock anger and righteous indignation when I’ve seen people hit their animals.

Technorati Tags: Vegetarian, Vegan, Foreshadowing

Due to mental reconditioning by television makeover reruns, I’ve become convinced that I need a pair of brown wingtip shoes to wear with my blue jeans. I’ve always been a fan of contrasts, and nothing in world seems quite so keen to me as a nice pair of dressy wingtips with my frayed denim jeans. Just add a sarcastic or retro t-shirt with a casual blazer on top, and you’ve got an instant hipster.

I wanted these shoes long before becoming a vegan, but as with most things involving me spending money on fashion, it got put off for the future. I find myself earnestly wishing that it hadn’t in this case. After all, much my like the Doc Marten boots I kept around for months after going vegan, it would be nice to declare that I had these leather shoes long before I became a vegan. I could even throw in some rhetoric about how I’m saving the planet by only buying shoes once these wore out.

I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent skulking around department store shoe departments checking the composition of the shoes. All the memories sort of blend together now. Occasionally I get my hopes up when I initially see the word “synthetic” before being inevitably crushed by the fact that only the sole is man-made and not full-grain bovine leather. I’ve checked every nook and cranny of the Internet for brown vegan wingtips with absolutely nothing in my closet to show for it. The closest I ever managed to find was a pair of black synthetic “brogues” from a company in the UK for the US equivalent of $150 before shipping.

I haven’t been tempted to betray my ethics, but I have thought once or twice about taking some hostages and making vegan brown wingtips one of my demands. I figure at worst I would pick up somewhere between ten and twenty years in the big house, and I assure you that properly maintained shoes can last virtually forever.

Technorati Tags: Humor, Vegan, Shoes, Wingtips

This recipe is a good substitute for Brunswick stew. If you happen to know some vegans, I’m convinced that just one taste of this stew will turn them into willing slaves. It manages to be extremely filling while containing relatively few calories, making it a dieter’s dream. Who knew that Southern comfort food could be vegan?

Ingredients

• 30 ml of canola oil
• 1 Vidalia (or other sweet) onion
• 227 g mushrooms
• 1-2 cloves of smashed or chopped garlic
• 2 cans of cubed tomatoes, drained
• 250 ml of sweet barbecue sauce (Sonny’s is my favorite)
• 15-30 ml of Tobasco Chipotle hot sauce
• 15 ml of apple cider vinegar
• 60 ml of ketchup
• 100 g of brown sugar
• Cayenne pepper, to taste
• 400 g lentils
• 1.25-1.5 L of water

Procedure

1. Heat canola oil and sautee the onions over medium-high heat until they brown significantly.
2. Reduce heat to medium and add mushrooms and garlic to the pan. Cook until the mushrooms reduce in volume by about half (about ten minutes or so).
3. Reduce heat to low. Add canned tomatoes, barbecue sauce, hot sauce, ketchup, cayenne pepper, vinegar, and brown sugar. Stir until all ingredients are mixed together more or less uniformly. Give your sauce a taste. It should taste effing sexy. Need more heat? Hit it with some more cayenne pepper. Need more sweetness? Add more brown sugar. Too sweet? Cut it with some more vinegar. Basically, make it taste so amazing that you’re tempted to forget the legumes and just eat what’s in the pan.
4. Stir in the lentils to evenly distribute them. Add about a liter of water. Cover and simmer for a while, checking in every fifteen minutes or so. If you need more water, add more in 250 ml increments. Cook until the lentils are falling apart and tender. This will take a while due to the acidic and salty environment in your pot. You can’t rush amazing food.
5. Enjoy either straight up or with some brown rice.

Possible Improvisations

• Consider adding some thawed frozen corn to the pot before you start your long slow simmer.
• Leave the long slow simmering to a crock pot. Just keep an eye on the water level since different beans take different amounts of water.